So I had embarked on an ambitious project to stay off of Facebook for a year. I wrote about it, I got addresses of all the people who wanted to stay in touch, I did a countdown. I was in it to win it and determined to see it through to the end. My reasons for doing this were varied, but in a nutshell FB just wasn't really doing anything for me but making me upset.
Skip ahead three months and things were going pretty well until my husband asked me about a picture of my friend Beth. She did a Rock Star workshop for adults and there on FB was a picture of my awesome friend, singing with a live band and looking like a true rock star! In that moment, I felt a rush of emotion realizing I missed this type of interaction with my friends. I had no idea what was going on in their lives. And just like that, my year long project was thrown to the winds.
Later that week at work I saw my friend Jessie at work. We had talked a lot about the project right before I started it and when she asked me why I ditched the project and I told her about Beth, Jessie's response was "I think it's great that you are aware enough of what's going on in your life to know what is serving you now, in this moment." That really struck a chord with me because I will admit to beating myself up a bit over not following through with my intention. But when Jessie said that all doubts vanished. And it got me to thinking.
Just because I have an intention to do something doesn't mean it's set in stone. If it is bringing me more anxiety than happiness then is it better to be a 'woman of my word' (which I don't take lightly) or to admit that in this moment, something is not working for me? I think there is strength of character in both following through with a commitment or intention and admitting that the path needs to change...it depends on the situation I guess. And that's the lesson I learned from this whole FB experiment.....which was not what I thought it was going to be! Instead of being able to say "Oh, I was so much more connected in a deeper way to the people who are in my life" while being all zen and wise (sarcasm!) I was smacked in the face with "Hey girl, try listening to yourself and be able to acknowledge that maybe this isn't what you need right now!" Huh. What a liberating way of looking at it. So thanks Jessie for putting a different spin on things and bringing more awareness to whether I am in the moment or not. And thanks Beth for having the stones to get up on stage and be your rock star self AND to post a picture while doing it. And to everyone else who was excited about this project, thanks for wanting to participate and thanks for (hopefully) understanding what happened and where this comes from. Maybe we can all take something away from this!
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Lessons in Procrastination (3/11/13)
I’m a huge procrastinator. Always have been. For example, this blog
should have been written on Friday but here it is Monday morning and I’m
typing while letting my hair dry and trying to eat breakfast so I can
get to work. That pretty much sums up how I roll. Maybe I like being
under pressure, maybe I’m just lazy. Doesn’t matter – I’ve always been
this way. Sometimes my habits come back to haunt me.
I recieved a letter from my mom via snail mail and she had forwarded something for me from the DuPage County Clerk’s Office. It was a summons for jury duty – in the state of IL. I looked at it and thought, “Oh I have to call them since I no longer live there,” and it went in THE PILE. I’m sure most of you have a PILE – mail, things to do and file,etc. that somehow end up on the buffet, on the table or on the counter. So of course I forgot all about it. Until last week.
I looked at my jury summons and thought “Oh gee whiz (that’s not what really went through my head, but this is a family show), I have to do this NOW, because they want me to possibly report on Monday (it was Wednesday), in IL. So I called and spoke to Ms. Jury Lady. Basically I needed to prove to her that I was living in MD, not in IL. Seems pretty easy right? Well thanks to my procrastination this became a serious issue. Let me elaborate.
My husband is in the Army and by law I am not required to change my residency. I never changed my legal residency to MD for a few reasons that I’m not going into here – but it should be obvious that for a procrastinator going through all the steps this entails is like asking someone who is afraid of heights to cross the Bay Bridge in a convertible. Also, I have been married for 16 years and in that time I never changed my last name – legally. Meaning that the name attached to my social security number was my maiden name, Moran. According to Ms. Jury Lady, I needed to send her a driver’s license or state ID with my maiden name and MD address attached to it (strike one), a mortgage or utility bill with my maiden name and MD address on it (strike 2) OR a pay stub……with my maiden name on it (strike 3). So as I type this I’m on my way to IL for jury duty! KIDDING!!!!!!
Somehow over the years I had managed to get my married name on my driver’s license, passport, tax forms and payroll but NOT on my social security card/statements. So, since I was registered in the IL jury pool as Moran and needed to prove I was now Bojan, living in MD. I had to take a trip to the SS office, where I waited for 2 1/2 hours with about five hundred other people. Suffice it to say, that people waiting here were not exactly warm, fuzzy and happy! When my number was finally called to see if I had all the correct documents to get a new SS card I was given another number to wait until I was called to actually get the process rolling. Are you tired yet? A short while later, all was right in the world and I was officially Kelly Bojan. I made copies of things, faxed everything to Ms. Jury Lady and am hoping there is not a bench warrant out for my arrest in the Land of Lincoln. I was so proud of myself for finally changing my name that I couldn’t wait to tell Mark when he came home. He is an attorney and his response to me was “Well, legally you didn’t change your name, you only changed the name attached to your social security number. To legally change your last name you need to appear before a judge and go through that process. ” I missed him with the frying pan. I wonder how many years that would take me if I decided to go for it?
I recieved a letter from my mom via snail mail and she had forwarded something for me from the DuPage County Clerk’s Office. It was a summons for jury duty – in the state of IL. I looked at it and thought, “Oh I have to call them since I no longer live there,” and it went in THE PILE. I’m sure most of you have a PILE – mail, things to do and file,etc. that somehow end up on the buffet, on the table or on the counter. So of course I forgot all about it. Until last week.
I looked at my jury summons and thought “Oh gee whiz (that’s not what really went through my head, but this is a family show), I have to do this NOW, because they want me to possibly report on Monday (it was Wednesday), in IL. So I called and spoke to Ms. Jury Lady. Basically I needed to prove to her that I was living in MD, not in IL. Seems pretty easy right? Well thanks to my procrastination this became a serious issue. Let me elaborate.
My husband is in the Army and by law I am not required to change my residency. I never changed my legal residency to MD for a few reasons that I’m not going into here – but it should be obvious that for a procrastinator going through all the steps this entails is like asking someone who is afraid of heights to cross the Bay Bridge in a convertible. Also, I have been married for 16 years and in that time I never changed my last name – legally. Meaning that the name attached to my social security number was my maiden name, Moran. According to Ms. Jury Lady, I needed to send her a driver’s license or state ID with my maiden name and MD address attached to it (strike one), a mortgage or utility bill with my maiden name and MD address on it (strike 2) OR a pay stub……with my maiden name on it (strike 3). So as I type this I’m on my way to IL for jury duty! KIDDING!!!!!!
Somehow over the years I had managed to get my married name on my driver’s license, passport, tax forms and payroll but NOT on my social security card/statements. So, since I was registered in the IL jury pool as Moran and needed to prove I was now Bojan, living in MD. I had to take a trip to the SS office, where I waited for 2 1/2 hours with about five hundred other people. Suffice it to say, that people waiting here were not exactly warm, fuzzy and happy! When my number was finally called to see if I had all the correct documents to get a new SS card I was given another number to wait until I was called to actually get the process rolling. Are you tired yet? A short while later, all was right in the world and I was officially Kelly Bojan. I made copies of things, faxed everything to Ms. Jury Lady and am hoping there is not a bench warrant out for my arrest in the Land of Lincoln. I was so proud of myself for finally changing my name that I couldn’t wait to tell Mark when he came home. He is an attorney and his response to me was “Well, legally you didn’t change your name, you only changed the name attached to your social security number. To legally change your last name you need to appear before a judge and go through that process. ” I missed him with the frying pan. I wonder how many years that would take me if I decided to go for it?
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