Today was the second snow day I've had in the last two months! Considering I am originally from IL, and prior to this I hadn't had a snow day in quite a few years I find myself not quite knowing what to do with all this free time. No, my house is not immaculate, the laundry is still sitting in baskets waiting to be put away, I have three knitting projects going at once and I still have to put the nail-head trim on the DIY headboard I made but I really cannot figure out what to do with all this time!! Because all those other things I mentioned? Well I don't WANT to do them with these precious hours FREE time. At least not now. Or not yet. Idiotic thinking isn't it? It's okay to think it, I just did.
I feel like anything I do will be the wrong thing - like a kid with only so much money to spend at the toy store....what if it's not the right one? Sadly, on rare occasions like this, instead of getting things done on my 'to do' list I find myself puttering around really doing a whole lot of nothing because I can't fully commit to one thing. I finished up some chicken broth I had simmering over night and started a new batch of beef bone broth; I made some soup; I watched Blue Jasmine and thought, "Wow, no wonder Cate Blanchet won the Oscar!"; I studied a little bit for my exam tomorrow; I ate too much chocolate; I did knit a little and then I did the workout I have planned for my class tomorrow - and felt all the coffee sloshing around in my stomach every time I did the ab work - so very gross. I thought, "Huh, maybe I'll write a blog about how I have anxiety over what to do with myself when I don't have any structure?"
I didn't knock anything off of my list. My head keeps saying "You have all this time! Use it, use it, use it!" But to what end? Isn't it okay to just not get stuff done? To kind of let the day meander and flow into whatever comes up? My husband is a master at this and I get very jealous of his ability to just turn off. He has no regrets about whiling the day away, just reading or loafing. Today he spent hours sifting through a box of dirt he ordered from some mine, picking out unpolished sapphires and crystals. I kid you not. Yes he's a total nerd, but he's my hottie nerd and I love him and his rock and fossil obsession. He's relaxed, enjoying himself and destroying the kitchen table all at the same time. How great for him!!
So what's my point? To lighten the heck up!! All this 'stuff to do' isn't going anywhere and after I'm dead I'm pretty sure no one is going to say "She never did get that nailhead trim on that DIY headboard," and shake their head in wonder. Nope. Not gonna happen. So I'm just gonna let it go for now and maybe watch another movie...or go play in the dirt with Mark.
See you in class and the studio!
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