Thursday, August 21, 2014

To Buy Or Not To Buy....Because I Feel Obligated???? (8/27/13)

I have an issue with buyer’s remorse.  Or I should say I have an issue with feeling obligated to buy something and then I feel remorseful not only for buying it when I didn’t intend to but then for returning the item later.  Like I have inconvenienced everyone involved, but I don’t even think about the inconvenience I put myself through.  I’ll give you an example.
About three weeks ago I was in the mall and decided to stop in the Michael Kors store because a really cute oversized black wristlet with gommets all over it caught my eye.  I am a sucker for anything that looks a little punk, bad-a**, or edgy.  Not to mention the fact that I love the smell of leather and when I walk in that store sometimes it’s just to inhale the scent for awhile.  Did you know they make leather scented candles?  No?  Well they do but there’s nothing like the real thing!  So there I was admiring this bag.  I picked it up and looked inside it and it felt so yummy in my hands and I was all in Happy Kelly Place feeling the leather, and the metal, smelling it and lost in leather la la land.  But I used restraint  and was a good girl and put the bag back.  Yes, I did whisper a little good-bye to it, telling it maybe we’d meet again someday and I left.
Last week I was at the mall again and as I was traipsing by Michael Kors I noticed my leather grommeted friend was no longer on display.  Out of curiousity (and maybe to smell the leather) I poked my head in and asked if they still had the bag.  The sales clerk produced a blue one and I asked if the black one was still in stock.  The sales clerk proceeded to dig around in some drawers  until she produced that coveted wristlet and handed it to me.  I had no intention of buying it (yes, I smelled it) yet as I stood there talking to the sales clerk I started to feel guilty that she went to the trouble of finding this for me.  Then I felt as if I was wasting her time (there was no one in the store but me) and before I knew what was happening I was at the counter buying the bag!  I literally had a conversation with myself at the register, while simultaneously talking to the clerk – no easy feat let me tell you.
My inner voice was saying, “You should tell her right now you’ve changed your mind.  I mean, really do you need this?  Yes you have the money for it, yes it’s really you, but you had no intention of buying this.  But then she willl think you’re nuts!  And she’s so nice!  And you led her on thinking you would buy this!” all the while I was chatting with the clerk about who knows what.  There was no doubt in my mind that I would be coming back over the weekend to return the bag.  I mean, I didn’t need it, I didn’t intend to buy it so what happened?  And more importantly why did I feel that because I walked into the store and felt the merchandise and that the clerk did her job that I owed her something?  That’s the bigger question.
After some conversations with some friends I’ve found I’m not the only one who has done this or sometimes feels that way.  I’m not quite sure what to do about this strange phenomena of mine except be aware of it and know that I’m being ridiculous and that if I just say no in the first place I will save myself a lot of trips to and from the mall! I still haven’t returned that wristlet.  It was wrapped in tissue and still in the bag until a few days ago when I told a friend this story and showed it to her.  We both admired it and she asked if I was going to keep it.  I said I hadn’t decided.  Then I made her smell it and as she inhaled that rich leather scent she closed her eyes and said, “Yes, you should keep it.”  We’ll see.

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